i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i will never coherently bang her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
