I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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