My nipple is on Facebook.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
