I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
