Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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