forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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