Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
