i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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