Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
