whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
