Pappa wants mamma naked
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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