just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize