My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
