we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
