I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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