oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
