you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i now understand why vodka
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize