I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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