Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There r osticjed everywhere
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
