That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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