Sponge bath it is.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
