he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
