I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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