I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
