Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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