no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
