The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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