so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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