So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
