New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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