Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
