No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
