After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My feet surprised me
Randomize
