She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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