What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!