wanna go halves on a baby?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.