WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.