Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
