I can text with my tongue
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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