you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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