well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
