spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize