Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
