She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
