you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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