what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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