office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
