I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
