I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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