Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize