i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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