if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
