so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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