i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
