are you still at the devil's house?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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