she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
