Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
