they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
