I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize