You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
