My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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