just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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