Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Text me some of your sweat
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