Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
